NOTE: This post is from a momma in our Facebook community. Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominic/FreeDigitalPhotos.net
By Eli Leblanc, member of Césarimouski There are three types of women in our society. Those who shave (or wax or whatever) their legs, those who don’t, and those who shave but wished they had the guts not to. I’m in the last category. I’m not proud of it, but yes, I crack under social pressure and I don’t show my legs in public passed a certain length of hair. Each summer, I make a point of stretching my limits at least once, hoping that one day, I will be strong enough not to care. But truth being told, I don’t like having hairy legs. I don’t find it sexy at all. For some people, this is perfectly normal. We don’t shave for others, we do it for ourselves, right? Well I see things differently. Adults naturally grow hair on their legs. Finding it ugly on women is not coded in our genetics. We let society teach us that hair is disgraceful on women’s legs. Well I should be stronger than that. My mom once told me that she hoped one day I would accept the fact that I shave my legs. I immediately snapped back “Why don’t you wish me to accept my hairy legs instead?” In the end, it leaves us with 2 choices. Accept our weakness, or try to get stronger. Personally, I aspire to get stronger. The same concept can be applied to my birth trauma. Accepting my weakness would be letting society tell me that it was not my fault, that I did the best I could, that I am not to blame. Who knows, maybe if I said those words often enough I would actually end up believing them. But I choose to try to get stronger. I want to take my responsibilities and admit my share of blame. I don’t want to “shave” my faults away, I want to leave them intact and, eventually, learn to accept them. The birth of my children couldn’t have been less empowering. Maybe this could be? Ahah! I know what you are thinking! That accepting your weakness also requires a lot of strength. Yes, I have thought about that one, but stick to my point: one day, I hope I will find the courage to show my hairy legs! Momma Trauma's Thoughts on Hairy Legs By Momma Trauma I can see a lot of validity in Eli's words and thoughts here. As a birth worker and activist, I often tell moms: Be sure that whatever decision is made for you or your baby, it is made by you after informing yourself on the topic. It's so important to OWN our decisions, not just in birth, even if it means accepting and taking the responsibility for our own faults. When I birthed our first born, we had quite the typical medicalized birth. Going to the hospital as soon as my waters broke led to pitocin which led to pain medication (I'm lucky the epidural guy was late and I couldn't get that!), which led to more pitocin and more pain medication, which led to shoulder dystocia which led to a broken collar bone in my son. I'm grateful and blessed it did not end in a c-section. I quickly learned that not only was I not broken as the doctor stated and that everything could have been prevented, I learned that I could have been the one to prevent it all. Everyone said, Oh it's not your fault, momma. He just got stuck, he was a big baby after all (if you consider 7.5-ish lbs big). When, in reality, I made the choice to not invest in a good childbirth education class and instead took a two or three hour overview on childbirth taught by nursing students who were only concerned with a class grade. I also made the choice to not do my research, ask for clarification, blindly follow the doctors, not hire a doula, the list goes on. *I* bear sole responsibility for what happened in those wee hours in labor. That was a tough lesson to learn, but as soon as I did that, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. And I made damn sure to do my research for baby two. Sure, I could have agreed with the multitudes of people telling me it wasn't my fault that his collar bone was broken. But it didn't sit right. Weakness would have been remaining complacent to societies whim and letting that dictate how I felt and how I would birth future babies. Strength was learning to say No, that's not right and moving forward to better myself and my babies' futures. Whichever route you take, make it your own. Eli and I happen to have very similar stories in terms of weakness and strength. Other women may tell you their own weakness IS their strength. Some may tell you their strength is their weakness. Which are you? Do you shave? Do you let your legs be what they are naturally? Or do you shave and wish you didn't? Do you have a story to share about embracing your weakness or strength? Everyone's journey is different! Comment below or e-mail your story. Guest posts are uploaded every Friday, the next one could be yours!
7 Comments
Well, this is fun and unlikely. A discussion about feminine hairiness! A razor has not touched my legs (or armpits) for more than 2 years. Not only is it incredibly liberating (and I always enjoy the conversations that happen when young girls horrifyingly ask me why I don't shave and I get to ask them why any patriarchal society should determine what manicured female beauty is!) I also never have razor burn or ingrown hairs. It is wonderful. So, carry on. Whatever you decide to do, it's yours. More power to you!
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2/22/2013 07:57:20 am
I wish I had the guts not to shave. My legs anyway... I couldn't bare hair anywhere else!!!
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AuthorWelcome to Momma Trauma's Blog! Thoughts, empowering posts and stories straight from Momma Trauma herself, Birth Trauma families & birth professionals. Archives
July 2015
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