I kid you not. I was told in person by a well-known and well-respected OB/GYN that he was afraid of my blog. This one. It hasn't been long since he told me this, but I will never forget it. Let me set the scene:
I've had an amazing several years. Some of my avid readers may recall my legislative journey in slowly (painfully) working on the midwifery crisis in Delaware (as in only Amish & Mennonite women here could access a non-nurse midwife, we needed to fix this). We made a huge splash in our state, especially with some of the medical community. They actually seemed quite shaken. They'd tell you they weren't, but they were. I digress. So, this doctor is a pretty big deal here. He's got power, education, an impressive career history, the whole nine yards. And even so, he told me in person while working together during the legislative process: "I'm afraid of your blog." I put the statement aside in my mind for a short time, chewing on it. I came to the conclusion that not only was it okay that he was afraid of my blog, but I also realized that I was proud of that comment. Curious as to why?
To this doctor, a man of great respect and has undoubtedly saved lives in our small state by practicing obstetrics and gynecology, to him I say Be scared. Know that all of the reasons you have to fear our community are valid. We know our rights. We know that we are in charge of our bodies. And we know how to make a difference when it's needed. You, sir, are correct. We're a scary, powerful, awesome community. And I love every ounce of it!
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Like most stay at home parents, I try to find a variety of activities for our children to enjoy during the summer. Activities that occur outside of the house (and out of my hair!) find their way to the top of the list.
Today was no different. I wanted to take our children to our local library which offered a craft today: superhero masks! Heck yea!! We didn't end up going thanks to a torrential downpour. But someone else (won't say who) happened to see us before we were set out to leave and noticed our son had mismatched socks. Now, they were both white mind you. Nothing terribly noticeable like a red sock and a neon green one. But, nonetheless, this person was not happy. I was being a terrible mother for thinking of sending the children out in such a way. Mismatched socks. She scolded me like no tomorrow. Terrible, no good person I was apparently. And here I thought I was being a good parent for prioritizing cultural, social and educational activities. Okay, I know a superhero mask craft isn't very educational. But it's important to me that our kids have positive experiences with the library. Right? I mean I don't think I'm totally off my rocker for that. But clearly, I was wrong. Something was more important. Mismatched socks. Society's rules. It's really not much different in our current birth culture. You might think, well that's a far stretch. Stay with me. When a mom expected something other than a "normal" hospital birth experience, she's often told how that doesn't fit in society's standards. And even dragged down for her option, no matter what she has backing her up. Mismatched socks. Society's rules. When we say we've been traumatized from our childbirth experience, or dealing with a perinatal mood disorder... we're often met with the same response. It's not normal. Don't talk about it. Don't you dare take those socks out of the house! Mismatched socks. Society's rules. I am here to tell you that sometimes, no, all the time, there are priorities that go above and beyond society's rules. You are worth more than society's rules. You are important. You and your family deserve a healthy mom. What has society's rules meant to you? |
AuthorWelcome to Momma Trauma's Blog! Thoughts, empowering posts and stories straight from Momma Trauma herself, Birth Trauma families & birth professionals. Archives
July 2015
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