By Jennifer Antonik www.MommaTraumaBlog.com Normalizing breastfeeding has sadly become quite the task, even in 2013. Breastfeeding mothers are too often asked to leave or cover themselves when they nurse their child. When the breastfeeding community at large gets wind that another mom hasn’t been treated kindly, they immediately take action. As was the case recently when Jaielyn Belong, a Delaware teen mom, was told she could not pump breastmilk for her six-week old baby during school hours. Having reached over 40,000 hits on the original blogpost that broke the story late Tuesday evening and a facebook page in support of Belong with over 1,800 likes, it is clear to see there were at least a few moms upset with this situation. Belong’s story quickly reached local radio stations, newspapers, tv stations, Governor Jack Markell and even several national news outlets. By Wednesday afternoon, Dan Curry, the superintendent of Lake Forest School District, told a reporter for the News Journal that they will be giving her time and a private place to pump during school hours, according to Belong’s mother. Details are not available at this time. They are also working with local breastfeeding advocates to purchase a brand new, small refrigerator for faculty and teen moms to use for breast milk storage. Between the posts of support and questions on her fanpage and blog comments, many suggested legal action and a nurse-in as the next course of action, even after Curry turned their decision around. Local moms and breastfeeding advocates disagree with a nurse-in at this stage of development and say that, for now, they will not attend one as the school district is making good progress to rectify the situation. “In my opinion, Nurse-Ins don't help to normalize breastfeeding because it is an unusual event,” local mom Rose Spickes said. “We all want to work to promote breastfeeding in a way that is supportive and positive for all involved.” Heather Felker, local La Leche League leader, has been involved in Belong’s situation from the start and believes this situation could have a positive ending without hosting a nurse-in. “Delaware has an amazing breastfeeding community. We have received wonderful support from media outlets, LLL, the Delaware Breastfeeding Coalition, as well as individual mothers,” she said. “We are in continued conversations with the family and the school to help facilitate a smooth transition for the student and hopefully provide some continuing lactation education. Our hope is to leave a positive impression for everyone involved, and to help normalize breastfeeding, rather than sensationalize it.” Sensational is exactly how some view nurse-ins, and not in a good way. When a mom announces a breastfeeding related human rights offense, you can almost always guarantee an immediate response by the community. There will be a lot of blog posts, e-mails to the offending person or group, a facebook page created in support of that mom with a lot of angry women, usually a lot of screen shots of comments made back and forth online and probably a nurse-in. (And of course a facebook page for the nurse-in, an event page and a second event page for the virtual nurse-in for the thousands of mothers who cannot fly in for that one event). By then, you can guarantee yourself some national, if not global, media coverage. Most nurse-ins are arranged and held before the offending party has an opportunity to rectify their wrong-doing. On the contrary, Felker said, “In order for a nurse in to be an effective tool for change, we have to give the offending company or organization a chance to remedy the situation. Rushing in makes it appear that the nurse in is more important than the end result. What exactly is a nurse-in? A nurse-in is a staged protest at the location the offense occurred, or immediately surrounded that area if protesters are not allowed. It is usually attended by local breastfeeding moms and their families, advocates, professionals in the birth and breastfeeding professions and media. Most importantly, the mothers attending nurse their children during this event. Participants often bring signs in support of breastfeeding and to protest the specific offense involved. A lot of pictures will be taken to document the event, and possibly videos recorded as well. They will be immediately uploaded to Facebook, Twitter and local media to alert everyone the protest is underway. The goal of a nurse-in is to be powerful in numbers while normalizing breastfeeding. Those in favor of nurse-ins say they are effective at creating change. Advocates who oppose nurse-ins, such as local mom Emma Reddick, say they can overwhelm those to which the event is directed. “It can put them on an automatic defensive. They see us as an angry mob, rather than a group of educated women trying to elicit positive change,” she said. Moms and advocates local to Belong spent an entire day eliciting e-mails, sending her story to media outlets and speaking with the district directly to create a positive result for this rights issue, as did many across the country. Holli Freeland, local mom, agrees with this approach. “A nurse in should NEVER be your first line of defense. Communication always effects change faster than militancy,” she said. “Talk your face off. If that doesn't work, then whip out the boobies and stage your nurse in. Ask for what you want and see if they give it to you.” To view the letter sent to the Lake Forest School District by the Breastfeeding Coalition of Delaware, click here.
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This letter was sent on Jan. 31, 2013 to the Lake Forest School District on behalf of the Breastfeeding Coalition of Delaware. Dear Dr. Curry and Messrs. Filicicchia and Berry: As a non-profit organization devoted to protecting and promoting breastfeeding in Delaware, we have been made aware of a student’s request to express breast milk for her child while attending Lake Forest High School. Without a full understanding of this single case, it is not our intention to discuss it in specifics, but to offer our assistance in ensuring that in the future the district protects and supports all mothers’ right to breastfeed, students and employees alike. Effective March 23, 2010, the Fair Labor Standards Act requires employers to provide a nursing mother reasonable break time to express breast milk after the birth of her child. The amendment also requires that employers provide a place for an employee to express breast milk, other than a bathroom. Given a student’s requirement to attend school for a full day, this may be considered “work”; it is open to interpretation whether these requirements would also cover students. Regardless, breast milk and breastfeeding are the gold standard for infant nutrition. There are numerous and well-documented benefits for both children and mothers who breastfeed, including a reduction in risk for children of contracting ear infections, severe infections of the lower respiratory tract, asthma, obesity, type 1 and type 2 diabetes, childhood leukemia, certain types of cancer, and sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Breastfeeding is the normative method of infant feeding, recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, World Health Organization, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and many other major medical organizations. No mother should ever be made to feel that expressing milk for her child is unusual, unnatural or that requesting reasonable accommodations is an inconvenience to others. Many schools make accommodations for breastfeeding employees and students. We are interested in working with you to ensure that the Lake Forest School District fulfills its potential as a family-friendly, community-minded school and employer that supports breastfeeding mothers. Some suggestions include: • Educating students and employees on the benefits of breastfeeding and the right of women to express milk when returning to work. • Creating a clean, quiet and appropriate place (not a bathroom) for mothers to express milk in private. • Supporting your students and employees in breastfeeding through policies, space and appropriate break time. We appreciate your great skill and service in educating the children and youth of Delaware, and understand that you may not be aware of the needs and rights of breastfeeding mothers. We would be happy to work with you to help align your policies and practices with current laws and recommendations. Please contact us if you are interested in collaborating to achieve the above goals. Sincerely, Board of Directors, Breastfeeding Coalition of Delaware After an all-morning radio show devoted to Jaielyn Belong, a Delaware teen mom who is having difficulty securing breastfeeding accommodations when she returns to high school next week, WXDE needed more information. Mark Fowser, News Director at WXDE Delaware 105.9 News Talk Radio, took some time today to interview Dan Curry, the superintendent at Lake Forest School Districts regarding teen moms and breastfeeding within their schools. What follows is the transcription. If you would like to listen to the recording, you can do so by clicking here. (The image is the superintendents blog post released today reiterating the resources at DAPI and that they may not be able to support teen moms as much at Lake Forest High school.) Mark Fowser: This is Mark Fowser speaking on Delaware 105.9 Wednesday the 30th of January with Dan Curry who is the super of schools in the Lake Forest School District, good morning to you. Dan Curry: Good morning. Mark: Thanks for being on, I appreciate it. Dan: Sure. Mark: While it’s not the ideal situation, there are situations where the school, and we’re talking the high school level, um, teen mothers are a part of the student population. With respect to the idea of breastfeeding, what kind of accommodations Mr. Curry does the school make with regards to teen mothers? I guess we’re not talking about a situation where they can bring babies to school or that kind of thing but in general what does the district try to do and we’ll talk later about what it is bound to do by law if there are laws that apply here. Dan: We have, first of all, I think we need to understand that any school environment has a lot of females that are working within the school and lots of them have had babies and returned to work so we have no shortage of opinions. Among our school faculty, our nurses, our guidance counselors, and others as to what would be appropriate approach and what is necessary. That being said, a student who would make that request, we would offer some space. Now you need to understand I’m not sure what kind of space is expected or would be required if every room in a school is being used by an employee. We have to consider what space would that be, and how long do you need it and how often do you need it. Could be the nurses office? the nurses office has a bathroom? do you want to do that in the bathroom where other students have gone in and perhaps thrown up today? The nurse’s office has an examinating, examining room but in the examining room we store medicines, so we’re not going to allow you to go in there and close the door. When we’re talking about a student who is our responsibility then we have responsibilities for that student’s health and safety while they’re in that school which requires supervision. So those are those kinds of, our concerns. That being said we would if a student insisted they wanted to do that we would work with them to try to establish what would the schedule be like, when might you need to do this and how are you going to store it. I don’t believe it’s a taxpayer’s responsibility to provide a refrigerator. For storage of breast milk for a teenager who wants it. They can bring a cooler and they can store it. Now many of our employees who I’ve talked to about this they talk about their own experiences and how they pump before they came to work and they didn’t feel the need to pump during the day and they pumped right after, but that was their choice. Now let me also point out that within the state of Delaware we have some great programs specifically designed for teen moms, DAPI is the, and that’s D-A-P-I, I’m not sure what the initials stand for… Mark: Delaware Adolescent Pregnancy Initiative Dan: There you go! So our children, our girls who go to Lake Forest schools have the opportunity to go to the DAPI program, before they have the baby. And they get their education, they get guidance on parenting and when the baby is born they can continue to go to DAPI, they can take the baby with them and the baby will be in high quality childcare. They can nurse when they need to, they can pump when they need to. That option is available to every student, and that option has, of course, is obviously available to the student that has been talked about in the news today. And she chooses, from what I understand, not to take that option. Mark: But that’s also, isn’t that not in the high school itself, isn’t that a separate location Dan: That’s right, that’s a separate building, a separate location that serves all of Kent County. So, what she has, you know, she has a number of options that are certainly more specifically designed to accommodate that kind of request and as would any teen mom and when a teen mom chooses to no I don’t want that option, I want to go back to my home school, that’s all well and good too, but our ability to accommodate that request isn’t as easily fulfilled as it is in a specialty place. Mark: Is that because it hasn’t reached the numbers, I guess in some ways a positive indication, the numbers haven’t reached a level of people where a special accommodation would be needed or warranted to, you know, if it reached a certain number of teen mothers would there be some special room or special…? Dan: Well, we have no shortage of teen moms. But the request and the insistence to you know have a place to pump is unusual. It’s not that we don’t have them it’s just this particular request is according to the staff of the school is unusual. I don’t know if they’ve ever had such a request, to tell you the truth. Mark: Now, there are groups that actively promote breastfeeding vs. formula and they’re citing state laws that I guess they apply to workplaces vs. school settings. Is the school bound by any workplace guidelines to accommodate breastfeeding? What do you for employees vs. students for example? Dan: If, whatever the law requires, we would do. It’s not come up. It’s just not come up. We certainly have our share of recently returning mothers returning to work throughout our schools. And I have no doubt, if they need to pump, they can, they’re, you know, adults! They can make their own choice about Okay this is my work environment, where would I go to do this? No one has to come and demand to the principle, you, I want you to make a room for me. They know their work environment and they can give some thought to am I comfortable doing that in the teachers’ lounge? Can I on my planning period turn out the lights and lock my door and do that? They have some choices as an employee about to make judgment about whether they can execute that efficiently and privately. Mark: So in a way it’s easier for an employee vs. a student who is going from class to class. Has I know teachers have rigid structures, but so do students that are going class to class, a certain amount of minutes to get from class to class too Dan: That’s right. So a student, the question is, does the law that applies to employment and workplace requirements apply to student rights as well, I’m not sure. We’d have to ask an attorney that. And of course you know if you have two attorneys in a room, we might hear two different opinions. But you know we have a lot of folks who are expressing an opinion about what the law requires and the bottom line is I believe that the Lake Forest School District is offering what makes good sense. Trying to offer both advice and guidance. And saying okay this is something we can work with you on but you know we have limits as to the extent we can help you. And when you choose to return to our school, you know you are still a student you are still here to go to school And you know It is every one of the staff that I’ve talked to that have breastfed while they returned to work indicated to me that is was their choice because it made the most sense for them not to pump at work. That was their choice. And it was nothing they felt had to be done, and they didn’t think of it as something they had a right to do and that their employer had a responsibility to do, it’s a personal decision. But they also, with that experience, can guide a teenager, they can help answer the questions of a teenager of what their true needs are going to be and when they can do it and what are your desires with regards to privacy, what are your desires with regards to sanitation. And safety. You know, school nurses office to me, seems like one of the most likely places, but that’s where all the sick people go to. Mark: It’s like a hospital right? Dan: Absolutely, absolutely. So as a school, I doubt that any of the high schools that have recently been built and the state of Delaware designed with student needs and all the various programs in mind, I doubt that any of them designed a room specifically for that purpose. Mark: Well, this has been very interesting and I appreciate your time, DC of the Lake Forest School District and thanks for being on Delaware 105.9 I really appreciate it. Dan: Sure thing! By Jennifer Antonik www.MommaTraumaBlog.com FELTON, DE -- Jaielyn Belong is a sophomore at Lake Forest High School in Felton, Delaware. “She is a good student,” said her mother Betty Belong. “She's a book worm and has occasionally gotten in trouble for reading during class.” Five weeks ago, she welcomed baby Adrian Amir Belong into her arms at over eight pounds. Baby Adrian now weighs a whopping 10 pounds thanks to his mom who is exclusively breastfeeding him with the hopes of breastfeeding him for at least one year as is the current recommendation by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Jaielyn, now a teen mom, will soon be returning to school to continue her high school career with the support of her own mother, family and a host of local moms. There’s only one catch: "I feel the school is discriminating against my decision to breastfeed my son," she said. A sentiment which is seconded by Betty who feels the school is bullying Jaielyn. The nurse, a counselor and a school administrator recommended Jaielyn only breastfeed her son before and after school hours. This recommendation would not be changed regardless of whether or not a doctor’s note is able to be obtained. This would mean Jaielyn could not pump for or nurse her baby for over eight hours every weekday. This recommendation goes against Delaware law which reads: 31 Del. C. § 310 Some view going to school as the job of a teenager, which would mean the Reasonable Break Time For Nursing Mothers in the Fair Labor Standards Act would also be important to this case, see the bottom for the full text. It states: SEC. 4207. REASONABLE BREAK TIME FOR NURSING MOTHERS. Even so, “The school nurse called me on Thursday and told me they will not be able to accommodate my daughters need to pump or store milk during school hours,” said Betty. “They said the electric pump is noisy and will draw attention to my daughter. Pumping milk is time consuming. They're not even sure she'll be pumping milk when she says so.” According to Betty, the nurse added that her refrigerator was for medicinal only and that she believes Jaielyn would need to be supervised. “Her peers may tease her,” the nurse told Betty. Local La Leche League (LLL) leader, Heather Felker said, "It seems illogical that a place cannot be found for this teen to pump. If a teacher requested an area to pump, by law one would need to be provided. The teens mother also mentioned that there is a Bayhealth clinic on site." Felker, who has alerted the LLL organization as well as the Delaware Breastfeeding Coalition of the situation, said Jaielyn "has shown great maturity by taking responsibility for her pregnancy and now her son. She chose breastmilk as the healthiest possible start for her son, and as a cost saving measure for her family. By not supporting these choices, the school is sending a negative message." This negative message goes against the Lake Forest High School Student Code of Conduct which reads: "All Lake Forest students shall behave in a manner that promotes a school environment that is nurturing, orderly, safe and conducive to learning and personal/social development." “I only want what's the very best for him and it is scientifically proven, breast milk is the best choice," Jaielyn said. Her mom added, “My daughter’s body made this milk for him and she wants him to have what's all natural and made just for him. My daughter just wants to be able to do her academic studies and care for her son's nutritional needs. "When our children go through life and make positive choices we have to follow through and do what we can to help,” Betty said in support of her daughter’s breastfeeding decision. “I'm so proud of the choices she's made and I have to help in any way I can. I thought I was fighting a losing battle, but knew I wasn't giving up without one." We have a very special Fan Friday post tonight from fan Momma Eli. Introducing Momma Trauma's file sharing Dropbox! Read on: "Hi Momma Trauma, Well, Eli... I think that's a FABULOUS IDEA! (And I'm super sorry for it being so late on Fan Friday, so let this take over the weekend with encouragement!) Social Media FTP? Yes, please!
So with Eli's help, Momma Trauma now has a Dropbox that we hope our community will fill with inspiring, encouraging and/or educational files! You can send videos, photos, articles, etc. Anything that can be sent in file-form (the non-virus type would be amazing!) Please write something in the e-mail suggesting that you follow the blog or Facebook page so I can identify you over scammers since I'll be opening up my e-mail to this awesomeness! You can also send us your favorite uplifting songs in video form, as well. Don't have it in video form but have a YouTube link? Send that, too! I'm going to put together an encouraging playlist for all of us! You can also send files through our Facebook inbox, too! If you have a dropbox and would like to connect with us, let's make it happen! This is so beyond cool. (I must admit, Eli has some of the best ideas!) You can find our Dropbox HERE: https://www.dropbox.com/sh/egf6g1salre3eap/SmK2ShcQaB Note about our Dropbox: The main folder contains encouraging posts of all kinds. There will be folders for articles, our Youtube Blog and other files that may contain triggers so we don't see them right away when we open the Dropbox. What do YOU think? Send us your files to add to the Encouragement folder!! January is International Quality of Life Month. To honor that, I am seeking to better the quality of my own life by going back to the counseling that I still need. (I *must* call and make that appointment!) This whole blog is based around the fact that I know I'm not alone in this and I want others to know the same.
Realizing I had depression and ptsd after Chickie Pea's birth was hard and it took a while for me to get to that point. You can read about that realization in the post: "Acceptance: It actually happened, and it wasn't cool." I did not want to believe I had a mental illness or issue! Not me! But today I want to encourage you to take a few minutes and think about yourself for your family. Perhaps you're just realizing you might have a problem, or you've known for some time. Or perhaps you are in denial like I was, or perhaps you have a friend who may have a problem. Whatever the situation is, it's okay. You are not alone. Many of us have been there before and sadly, there will be many after us all. Depression, PTSD, Anxiety, Mood Disorders, all of these things won't just affect every part of your life, but it will affect your family's life as well. When I realized I had a problem, friends told me, "Your children need their mom to be healthy." And it's true, they do. But let me tell you what ONE friend told me: *I* deserve to be healthy. We constantly think about our children, even when we're depressed and seemingly unable to get out of our funk. Our children are still on our mind, and sometimes that drags us even further in the ground. If this is you, if *you* are going through something right now, I wish I could just sit with you on the couch and cry with you because DAMNIT I know what it's like! And it *really* hurts. Depression, ptsd, bipolar disorder, these things are really real, and you can really get them after childbirth. Yes, your baby is gorgeous! Your baby is the cutest baby there ever was! And the coo's and the smiles, oh aren't they wonderful? Sadly, for those of us with a postpartum mental illness, those moments are fleeting. Sometimes, we can't even enjoy those moments. I want to encourage you to step out of the rain clouds and call someone who can help you. Get someone to rock your little one so you can talk to a counselor. You owe it to yourself to start a journey towards healing! YOU deserve to enjoy those too-quick moments of pure joy that our children can bring us. You deserve to enjoy those rare, hot, soapy showers instead of standing there under the water sobbing. You deserve to smile, laugh, play, cuddle, be healthy, enjoy your partner and ultimately love & enjoy life! You shouldn't have to spend your day sobbing, wondering when the crying child will pass out so you can sob alone some more. A healthy mom will generally lead to healthy parenting. But mom needs to be healthy first! Healing is a long journey, it will not happen overnight. I am no where near as healed as I need to be, but I'm beginning to enjoy life again. We need to get over the stigma of having to go to a counselor/therapist/insert other stigma inducing descriptor here, and just give it a try. If you are dealing with a postpartum mental illness, you deserve a better Quality of Life. Think you might need help but aren't sure? Check out Healthy Place to take a free, confidential online screening for a number of mental illnesses. You can print the results and take them to your doctor, counselor, nurse, midwife, etc. It is better to seek help, than to stand alone in your darkness. Here's a few screenings you may want to consider: Depression PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Mood Disorders NOTE from their Website: These online psychological tests are for your entertainment and possibly educational use only and do not replace in any way a formal psychiatric evaluation. Remember for a diagnosis, you need to contact a licensed mental health professional. When and how did you realize you had a mental illness after childbirth? Has seeking help helped you? Are you at the beginning of your journey? Comment below or e-mail me: [email protected] Midwifery has been the topic of many heated debates in recent years, and a source of my own confusion here as of late. Midwife after midwife across the globe have been subject to legal actions for practicing "medicine without a license" or even "medical negligence." I wanted to address the "medical" aspect of midwifery, but I have found no evidence to suggest there is a medical aspect. The disciplined study of midwifery is not medical by any means. There are two main types of midwife: A Certified Professional Midwife (or Certified Midwife) and Certified Nurse Midwife. According to the North American Registry of Midwives (NARM), The midwife-led model of care begins with the premise that pregnancy and birth are normal life events and Founder, Executive Director and Curriculum Developer of Ancient Art Midwifery Institute Carla Hartley said, "Midwifery, in my definition, is very adept at assisting with all the variables of normal, and quick to recognize when a line has been crossed and medical help needs to be considered. I do not believe that midwives should carry drugs or oxygen. I do not believe that they should be practicing medicine under the guise of practicing midwifery."
So where does the medical aspect of midwifery come in to play? It doesn't. Certified Nurse Midwives are able to practice medicine due to their nursing background on which their midwifery training builds. But the disciplines of midwifery and nursing remain separate. "It boils down to this: either birth is medical or it is not," Hartley said. "If it is, then we should all go to the hospital for birth anyway. If birth is physiology rather than pathology, and we stay home with women exercising their sovereignty over their biology, then no medicine is being practiced. When medicine is needed, the best plan is to go where medicine is practiced." Pathological vs. Physiological The term pathological refers to diseases and dealing with the nature of diseases. However, pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period are not diseases. Instead, they are physiological in nature, which means these stages of life are appropriate and normal functions for our human bodies. So... let's recap: Birth is not a disease. It's normal. Here's a few examples of other aspects of life which are normal, natural, physiological processes:
We get bumps, bruises and headaches... we go through a lot of physiologically normal situations all on our own. Without seeking medical help unless complications arise. Now, I'm well aware childbirth is on a whole different playing field than some of these minor, every day occurrences. However, the fact of the matter still remains the same: The perinatal period (Pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum periods) is a physiologically normal part of a woman's life. A midwife is trained to provide care and guidance to the physiologically normal aspect. She is not trained to provide care for the complications which may arise. She is, however, trained to identify complications and refer that mother out when referrals are warranted or requested. A midwife with a nursing background (Certified Nurse Midwife), is qualified to provide extra medical support and usually works under the supervision of an OB/GYN and/or practice. Midwifery is not medicine. NOTE: There's currently an open petition for the state of Delaware to allow CPM's to obtain permits so they may practice in our state. Please sign and share our petition (especially with friends who may live in Delaware!). "Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." -Martin Luther King, Jr. (Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!) Being supported in your parenting choices, and life after birth trauma especially, is important. We hope that those who are closest to us will be the most supportive and find ourselves upset when that doesn't happen. I have a very supportive husband. He has, over time, conformed to all of my "crunchy" ways, and those few that aren't so "crunchy." He has also been very supportive with helping me heal after my birth trauma. He doesn't like to talk about it, because he doesn't want to think about what he watched happen to his wife. But, he will listen, work with me, back off when he needs to, etc. And he supports me in my activism efforts with this blog, other online groups and locally. To me, that means a whole heck of a lot! I also have close friends which are very supportive in my healing process.
But there's one person I wish I had on my side. My mom. As far as parenting, my dad & grandfather were always very supportive. My dad has said things such as "if my grandchild needs to eat, he'll eat!" when our first born was fussy at the diner and needed to nurse. My grandfather was surprisingly supportive when I told him I would be assertive with my ob office about NOT getting a cesarean delivery with our second daughter. He was proud to say the least! He always makes it a point to tell me how proud of us he is and that we're doing a great job raising our children. My mom has been supportive of most parenting choices we have made for our children, including breastfeeding. But she's "old-school" as she calls it and doesn't think we should nurse in public. She's what I call "A squirm-er." I've been breastfeeding our children for three years now (well, three years as of tomorrow!). And still, to this day, every time I begin to nurse a kid in public: She squirms, looks uncomfortable, she'll say in a panic "Oh Oh God, Do you want a blanket? Oh, Um, Do you think you might be more comfortable in the car?" Then she'll look around the room to see exactly who is watching the spectacle that apparently is nursing in public, but is really her blatantly loud reaction to a natural and (what should be) quiet, to ourselves feeding. At one point, she was hurt by my breastfeeding activism because she was not able to breastfeed me and only breastfed my sister for 3 months (or 3 weeks, the story changes each time). To which I had to explain that activism, to me, is all about educating. She was not given proper support when we were little and didn't have any idea on where to find that support. I hope to be that shouting life-raft of support if someone needs to find support. Even if they just need to know a number to call for a deeper concern, I have lots of those, too! Her reaction to my activism and birth trauma has been much of the same. While I can't hide this blog under a blanket or take it to my car, it certainly makes her uncomfortable and she'd like to see me keep everything under wraps. She's a mom. And afraid I'll be hurt by what someone says or that I'll be blacklisted from any doctor in our area. So, she tells me I shouldn't speak out. And that hurts a little bit, as it always hurt when she reacted that way with breastfeeding in public. Because of that, I feel like I can't tell her what's going on in my "birthy-world" for fear she'll start another lecture on how I need to be careful. I'm a grown woman. I *know* that, with a blog of this nature and the things I hope to accomplish, I'm putting myself at risk of harmful words and possibly recourse from the medical community. I know that. And my husband knows that. I started this blog with his blessing knowing that, and I'm still here because someone needs to stand up for us. I feel like she should be the one person besides my husband who cheerleads for me or even helps me create some major change. But you can't make someone feel differently. You can only offer up the evidence and let them make the decision for themselves. And some people, like my mom, just don't want to listen to the evidence at all. They're stuck in their ways, which is a decision in and of itself. Yes, I realize she loves & cares for me very, very much and would give the world for me & our family. She's really a fantastic woman and I'm glad she's MY mother. I just hope one day she realizes what I'm attempting to do here and that it's not just for me. I hope she realizes that what happened to me was real, it wasn't okay and I'm suffering now because of it. I still cry, and yell, and trigger. But that's all in the healing process. I hope she comes around. Who is the one support you wish you had? Has anyone support you in a way that was more hurtful than helpful? NOTE: This post is from a momma in our Facebook community. Can you relate? I can.
By Eli Leblanc, member of Césarimouski A sentence from your last blog post got me thinking today: “Often times, we are reminded to avoid our triggers.” I sought counseling about this whole birthing experience but it was never PTSD oriented. I never got professional advice on whether or not to avoid our triggers, but I get mixed advices from my family and friends. For example, my boyfriend will say “don’t read this article if it makes you cry”. On the other hand, when I told my friends I would not see Birth, the play written by Karen Brody, with them because I knew I couldn’t handle it, they suggested that maybe I should go as part of my healing process. I didn’t. I tend to think that life makes me unexpectedly encounter enough triggers to give me plenty of material to feed my healing process without imposing any on purpose. For the first time today, I decided to list my triggers. It was quite an interesting exercise. I realized that most of them are not about what happened, but about what did not. Here’s my list:
I know I would have found anything different from a natural birth outside the hospital very hard to accept. But I always thought the general anesthesia without warning was what made it really traumatic. Maybe I’m right and this is just what makes the rest even harder to accept. Or maybe I’m wrong and the trauma was not caused by a single act, but by the whole situation that was a complete opposite of what I expected. I was expecting to live the best day of my life. I experienced the worst. I was expecting a painful and exhausting, but beautiful and empowering natural birth with minimum interventions. I thought it would be love at first sight with my baby and I was convinced to breastfeed exclusively. Instead of that:
Although my birth trauma originates in one single day, it now sort of agglomerates two years of my life. Triggers don’t take me back to a single memory, they make me grief for all the things that I didn’t, and more than likely never will, experience. Read more about Eli's journey in Trauma induced lactation problems: A mixed feeding, co-breastfeeding, tandem nursing story. Would you like to submit a post for Fan Fridays? Send them to [email protected] or on the Facebook page. By Jennifer Antonik, Momma Trauma Blog Photo credits: Maryland Friends of Midwives DOVER, DE -- The midwife "witchhunt" or "crisis," as some call it, reached Delaware recently when Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) , Karen Webster, was given a cease and desist order by the state for practicing medicine without a license or permit. Her name was listed on a certificate of live birth, which prompted the state to investigate. Webster is from Maryland but practices midwifery in several states including Delaware. She sat in a conference room packed with supporters to provide her testimony and evidence to support her defense during her hearing today. The arguments on both sides were clear. Legal counsel for the State of Delaware was firm in the reason they were there: Webster decidedly broke the law and practiced medicine in Delaware without a permit or license. Webster, who represented herself with the help of an advocate as she could not find legal counsel willing to take on her case, contended that she practices midwifery and not medicine. She also argued that CPM's cannot obtain a permit to practice in the state of Delaware due to current regulations which she has tried actively to change. State representatives repeatedly objected to this line of defense as they felt it was not directly related to the case. Those objections were overruled. There is currently only one CPM in the entire state with a permit to practice "non-nurse" midwifery, according to Kristen Bennett who is the Nursing Director with the Delaware Division of Public Health and testified for Webster's defense. This CPM, according to Webster, was grandfathered in when regulations were changed in 2002. According to Bennett, this CPM currently works with Dedicated to Women, however, a quick search of their Website shows only one Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) and no CPM's on staff. In the past ten years, no new CPM's have been permitted to practice in Delaware. Among other requirements, CPM's in Delaware must be able to establish "a collaborative agreement with a Delaware licensed physician with obstetrical hospital privileges." However, this is not possible as malpractice insurances will not cover CPM's. This barrier means that no doctor in Delaware is able to work directly with non-nurse midwifes. Webster never once denied the fact that she had been practicing non-nurse midwifery in Delaware, however, she contended that the charges against her were wrong. She went on to add that she has been incorrectly charged with practicing medicine in Delaware without a permit or license when instead, she should have been charged with practicing midwifery without a permit or license. The representative for the state brought forth Jean Betley, an investigator from the Division of Professional Regulation as their main witness. This investigator went through evidence submitted for the state which detailed information from Webster's Website stating that she offered midwifery care to clients in Delaware as of the printed date from 2011. She also discussed a certificate of live birth which seemed to have been certified and signed off on by Webster. Webster denied the signature and the state representative agreed that it did not look like it had been signed by her. Webster brought forth two main witnesses, Dr. Mark Anthony Umobi and Bennett. Dr. Umobi, who currently practices obstetrics and gynecology in Dover, remained neutral to midwifery care and stated he did not know enough about CPM's to greatly entertain the idea of working with one through his practice. When asked about his current insurance coverage, Pro Insurance, he said he was unaware of the company's stance on CPM's. Bennett testified to the current permit application process, however didn't get into great detail on the process itself or what is needed by a CPM to proceed. Webster said in an email, "She was actually a hostile witness and not very helpful. In the end, she actually withheld some vital information I was attempting to extract from her, but was more honest with one of my daughters (also a nurse) after the hearing. She has originated most of the charges against CPMs in the past several years." As the hearing concluded, the facilitator read a current definition of the practice of medicine from the Delaware Code: Title 24, Chapter 17 (Medical Practice Act), Sub-chapter 1, 1702 includes the following in the definition of the Practice of Medicine: "Offering or undertaking to prevent or to diagnose, correct, and/or treat in any manner or by any means, methods, or devices a disease, illness, pain, wound, fracture, infirmity, defect, or abnormal physical or mental condition of another person, including the management of pregnancy and parturition" The conference room, which was filled with midwife supporters, erupted with laughter when this definition was read as pregnancy and childbirth is (in normal situations) a natural process of life and not a disease, illness, infirmity, etc. Some blurted out, "Midwifery is not medicine!" While others murmured that pregnancy was not an ailment which needed to be treated. Webster contended that the practice of midwifery was, in fact, different than the practice of medicine and while midwifery can sometimes mix with medicine, it remains a separate discipline. There have been several court cases in the past which have ruled that midwifery is not to be included in the scope of medical practice, however, these were not brought up in this hearing. Prior to proceedings, Webster motioned that any and all members of the Delaware Board of Medical Licensure and Discipline who are also affiliated with or insured through the Medical Society of Delaware not be involved in any proceedings or decisions as they have conflicts of interests pertaining to her case. This case remains unresolved. The Delaware Board of Medical Licensure and Discipline will deliberate the facts and proceedings and contact Webster within 10-15 days with their ruling, to which she can object should she so desire within 20 days of that notice. Please visit our petition in conjunction with the Delaware Friends of Midwives to help make regulatory changes in Delaware. Were you able to make the hearing today? What were your thoughts? How can we help the current midwife crisis? |
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July 2015
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