My faith plays a large part of my life. I am so grateful for my church family, leaders, the praise band at church which I sing in and help lead worship, and above all, our God. Our second child's birth was traumatizing to me, as you may know. But God hasn't left my side in this whole journey, from singing praise music while in transitional labor leading up to today when I will totally step out of my comfort zone and launch a project that He has laid on my heart to create. I don't talk about religion much here, as I want everyone to feel welcome. I make it known when I feel called to and of course, I pray for everyone I "meet" through this blog. Everytime I think about our new project, I pray about it. Partially for my nerves, partially because I need His guidance. I'll be the first to admit I'm no perfect Christian. But I do try my darndest to love as Christ loved, even when that's not the popular opinion. Anyways.. *ramble ramble ramble* lol! There's a great book called Redeeming Childbirth which "is a book to empower women to embrace the season of preparing for motherhood by preparing spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. To intentionally incorporate and invite the Lord to be their "focal point."" The authors also have a Facebook community and blog where they continue to share Christ-centered stories. I find them very uplifting. Today, author Angie uploaded a Guest Post I submitted in which I talk about my experiences with Christ and how He brought me through not just labor, but my perinatal violence experience and thus brought me here to this blog. I hope you'll check it out! We may even get to give away a copy of Redeeming Childbirth! Keep an eye out! Please show her some Momma Trauma love, like their page and comment on the post! Check out my Guest Post here: Transforming Trauma to Mission
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There's been one thought that I've frankly tried to ignore since beginning this blog: The possibility of re-traumatizing someone, or putting them as the victim back in their situation even if only through print or talking. With the (top-secret, really awesome) project launch looming TOMORROW via teleseminar on Tuesday April 9 at noon EST (*hint hint*), this has really been on my mind lately. I'm not a professional. I've been trying to research birth trauma and related topics like PTSD, but I'm "just a mom" who's walked the warpath that is birth trauma. What I do know is that sometimes even just discussing birth trauma in general can be triggering. Our friend, Dr. Halina Krupa told me recently, "Your story is your medicine." Now thinking on this, I agree. My story is MY medicine. Does that mean it is someone else's medicine? Well, no. Because each story is different. But, sharing MY "medicine" means that someone else can see or hear it and know they're not alone. Perhaps it will help them begin or continue their own healing journey. Could my medicine trigger someone through what I'm doing here with the blog and in our upcoming project? That's really a tough thing to think about. The mission I feel called to fulfill may hurt someone by triggering them, something I know I don't like to feel myself and try so fervently to avoid. So I've been really contemplating this thought since she mentioned it to me. When we're healing, we have to process our experiences. Without being triggered in someway, that can't happen. It also can't happen if we don't have a safe space for that processing to occur. This blog is our private little space on the interwebs where you and I can vent, cry or be excited when needed. I happen to be "out" with my trauma and anonymity is not necessary, however anyone is free to post a guest post, question, suggestion, etc. with full anonymity if desired to keep this a safe space for them. I'm proud to say that Momma Trauma Blog and our facebook community remains a safe place for those of us healing and those trying to understand the truths about birth trauma. I'm grateful for that safe space! I made the mistake early on in my trauma and healing journey of not having that safe space to speak about my trauma. I was ridiculed, talked down to instead of helped, you get the drift. People didn't understand and I didn't have the personal resources or "armor" to defend myself. I ended up triggering out more often than not. Finally, after months of searching, I found support online. It was better than nothing and I was finally able to begin looking at my experiences for what they were: violent acts which led to my PTSD. Through this experience, I realized there's a good way to trigger, not just the negative concept of triggering. Sadly, we don't always have control over these events. My Most Memorable Negative Trigger For example, I once wrote to a birth professional whom I will not name here for help in healing and recourse as she went through a very similar situation. I thought she would understand. Instead of offering help or support, she came back to my message with two things: 1. I don't think you're going to succeed so you should probably just get over it and 2. She posted (copy & paste) my message to her facebook fan page for others to read and offer help. Now perhaps she thought this might help, or perhaps she thought it might get a few ratings given the controversial topic. But in my message to her I used the terminology of "Birth Rape" as I had seen her use in the past. I don't use this term with those who don't understand because it only causes me grief. Instead, I describe it in other, more understandable-to-the-mainstream kind of ways. So now, my plea for help regarding my Birth Rape was posted for thousands to see on her page. Okay, so what's the problem? Instead of offering help, people started debating the term Birth Rape. Others debated whether or not I even had a valid reason to be upset. This placed the victim (me) right back in the situation in question, triggering and traumatizing me further. The point in that story is that this situation was a negative trigger, and one that didn't even have to happen. It wasn't productive, at all, and only served to hurt me. Positive Triggers? Is that possible? So what is a good trigger? I consider a good trigger to be something positively productive. When you're in that safe space where you can vent, cry and explore your situation, you're working on your healing journey. Yes, it may trigger you to re-think about your experiences. But if you truly want to work on your healing journey, it's a necessary evil in my mind. Sure, some women could just forget about the whole thing. I couldn't, I know many women who couldn't. I still haven't forgotten what happened, but I'm growing stronger in my journey. Here's the thing: Knowing that sometimes we need to put the negative out of our minds for a bit, you cannot begin to heal by simply and completely forgetting the past. Explore the situation at hand. Think about what your triggers are and how you can overcome each one individually. Think about how you felt when your trauma happened. What were the surrounding factors involved? I'm sure it's controversial in nature, but I firmly believe that we cannot begin to heal until we explore our traumas and healing in a safe space. So back to the question at hand: How do I feel about triggering someone so vulnerable to birth trauma and perinatal violence? I don't like it. But, I'd much rather a mom or birth worker be triggered in a positive and safe way before they encounter another negative trigger so that they can work on healing for themselves, their family and their clients. Women know when they've had enough and are ready to begin their healing journey. That's usually when someone who has gone through birth trauma finds me here. I really feel passionately about helping women, families and professionals work through their traumas on their own terms and come out on the other end better off than when they found me in the first place. If you'd like to know more about healing from birth trauma, call in tomorrow (April 9) at noon EST for our teleseminar on birth trauma, healing and our top-secret really-awesome project launch! It's going to be really great for birth trauma families & professionals everywhere. (See the image above for details!) What are your thoughts on triggers? Do you agree that there's a positive way to trigger? What helps you when you are "triggering out?" Related Posts Acceptance: It actually happened, and it wasn't cool Does rape during childbirth make it not rape at all? Decluttering birth trauma to understand your own story More than Baby Blues: Postpartum Mental Illness Symptom Guide I was unable to attend the Midwifery Today – Human Rights in Childbirth summit today, but luckily for us, several women are live tweeting all day. The conference is all about the persecution of midwives as a human rights issue. They have amazing panelists lined up to speak today and the action has already started blowing up Twitter. I thought I would put them together in blog form, but I think they’re so powerful on their own. It’s not even halfway through the day yet, and I’m already in tears over what I have seen. Okay, but Momma Trauma, you’re a Birth Trauma and Violence in Childbirth blogger. True! But listen to me for a minute. Where will we be in 10 years, 20 years when we are finally heard by doctors and officials? We will need more midwives. But if the climate remains as hostile as it is now, not only will we not have any midwives left to attend births, they’ll be in jail serving time for natural occurrences that people would never consider charging a doctor for the same problem. These aren’t crimes, people! We’re talking human rights issues at the very core! Okay, stepping off my soap box (for now). Powerful words are happening at the summit today. I’m in tears, really. This is OUR climate! This must change! Check out these Tweets from the conference thus far:
Did you know our climate was this bad? What are your thoughts?
Related Posts: Results are in, search for lawyer starts again: The Case for medicine or midwifery continues in Delaware Hearing held for Karen Webster: The case for medicine or midwifery continues in Delaware Midwifery vs. Medicine: Debunking the Debate |
AuthorWelcome to Momma Trauma's Blog! Thoughts, empowering posts and stories straight from Momma Trauma herself, Birth Trauma families & birth professionals. Archives
July 2015
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