As a childbirth educator, I’ll tell you honestly: Not every birth is perfect. It very well may be totally different than what you imagine when you think “childbirth.”
When I teach a childbirth class, I always ask my clients before we begin: “What is your idea or opinion of childbirth? What do you think normal childbirth looks like?” They usually think this is a bit silly and “Isn’t this what you will be teaching us?” Well, yes. But… I have a method to my madness. I almost always get a picture perfect view of something straight out of a birth story you’d find on TLC. I also ask these same questions after the full course is over and I get a totally different view. The answer this time varies by couple and depends on what they have decided their perfect birth might include. But the main idea is the same across the board: Their scary interpretation of birth has dissipated. They now feel prepared for this new adventure and confident in the mom’s body to perform its natural role. I like to think it’s because they took an awesome, educated childbirth class. But really, it’s because they were given evidenced-based information and thus empowered themselves to make informed decisions. Ally Fogg believes, as many do, that the media “has real and harmful consequences” for fathers-to-be especially. I agree with this and lump moms into the devastation that is found in our current media. In specific, Foggg is referring to a recent article in the Daily Mail written by Andy Dolan (triggering, tred carefully), The fathers so shocked by being at traumatic births that they get post traumatic stress. In a piece he wrote for the Guardian, Fathers-to-be, trust me, watching your children being born is not traumatic, he says, “Coverage like this trivialises mental illness, implying that someone with a severe and debilitating condition is some kind of ridiculous whinger or malingerer.” (Side note: *What* is with the ridiculously long headlines?) Woah, slow down Daddy Wars! Let’s get real here. The evidence given in the sensationalized article by Dolan is real. Men can and do get PTSD from childbirth. Fogg speaks the truth as well. The media, including Dolan’s article, often sensationalizes the truth or pulls out the most shocking stories to not only prove their point of course, but to also get more readers for that article and ultimately their blog/paper/Website as a whole. It’s journalism 101: If it bleeds, it leads. And the more blood you can show, the more it will be read. But here’s where writers such as Ally Fogg have it wrong: “Trust me, you will not end up with PTSD.” How can he make such promises? Is he insinuating that the men cited in the article in question actually do not have PTSD? Are they sensationalizing their very own stories? He said, “The most pernicious effect, however, may be in perpetuating the archaic myth that it is some kind of horrible experience for men to be with their partners at the birth of their children.” I don’t see it as such. The problem here is that the diagnosis’ of postpartum depression, post traumatic stress disorder and other perinatal mood disorders is not gender or role specific. I really believe, although he has seemingly quoted the most horrific of situations, that the intent of Dolan’s article was to get readers to understand that men or partners can indeed come out of childbirth with PTSD according to a recent study, even if his persuasion was by shock-factor. By suggesting the feelings of a man regarding childbirth do not matter, one forces more men under the rug where they will continue to hide their feelings instead of getting the support they need. This is not about being male-centered. If you’re a regular to the blog, you would know that couldn’t be further from the truth. It's also not about suppressing the feelings of a woman to support her male counterpart. It’s about breaking the barriers. Our dads and partners need to know that they are important to the family unit and thus their emotions are equally as important. They also need to know they are not the only dads out there dealing with perinatal mood disorders and that it's OKAY to seek out support. Above and beyond the surface problem, our communities and health care providers need to understand that their actions can drastically affect our (men and women) psychological well-beings. Because of this, major changes are needed in our maternity care system. We’re getting there. Slowly, very slowly. Too slowly. In the meantime, our parents need support: Moms, Dads, Partners alike. To be continued in the next blog post…
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWelcome to Momma Trauma's Blog! Thoughts, empowering posts and stories straight from Momma Trauma herself, Birth Trauma families & birth professionals. Archives
July 2015
Visit our Sponsors
This space is available for text advertisements. See our Sponsorship page for more information! xxxxx
|