I was about to go to bed, but couldn't sleep. My mind is swimming with things to do for our new Sacred Circles, the house, the kids, life in general. In the midst of all that, these thoughts came flooding into my mind. I started to write it down as a status for our facebook page, but it got too long. So I just started typing here. Have you ever written out your feelings without a filter? Just put pen to paper and went with it!? (I'll be honest, I filtered out one word, but only one!) It's okay if you don't understand my trauma or PTSD. I'm not asking you to understand. Just listen. Hug me when I need it and please, pretty please, bring me a case of tissues and some brownies. Whatever you do, don't drag me down and tell me I'm not valid. You see, I may have just had someone tell me I am nothing because I'm just a mom. I have already been invalidated and now I need help getting back up onto my own two feet. I'm asking you, as a friend, to please just shut up and listen. It would be really great if you could help me find my way and figure out where my next step might come from, but above all else, I need someone to just listen and tell me that my feelings are real. And valid. Tell me that I'm a beautiful mom who does right by her kids. Don't shut me out. Don't tell me the doctor only had our best interests in mind. Don't tell me that I have no right to complain because baby & I are healthy. And for heaven's sakes, don't tell me all about the procedures the staff must have been following. Don't you know that I am important, too? Can't you see that I'm hurt and struggling? That my trauma has really messed with my life? Who cares? Do I even matter anymore? Just listen. Please? I need someone to sob to and I feel safe with you. And please don't forget those brownies. We'll need them.
2 Comments
4/10/2013 09:09:46 pm
You are such a talented writer, this blog almost brought me to tears. Thanks for sharing. As moms I think we all feel like this at times.
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Ashley
4/10/2013 10:11:19 pm
There is no such thing as "just a mom"! Being a mom is toughest and yet most rewarding job there is. What a great outlet you have here to share and let it all out with others. You keep doing you and we'll keep listening... And hopefully the brownies come too! :-)
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AuthorWelcome to Momma Trauma's Blog! Thoughts, empowering posts and stories straight from Momma Trauma herself, Birth Trauma families & birth professionals. Archives
July 2015
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